• Type of paperAdmission Essay
  • SubjectBusiness and Entrepreneurship
  • Number of pages2
  • Format of citationMLA
  • Number of cited resources0
  • Type of serviceRewriting

In my opinion, My draft gives a deeper insight to what I have done and what I have learnt instead of focusing on why I did it and why i liked doing it again and again. The 3 rd paragraph is a very good example. The one thing that seems to be lacking in my personal statement is a ′why′. I barely answered the fundamental question of a personal statement in my opinion, “Why this particular subject?” I can see some basis as to why I would want to study B&M (the 2 nd paragraph), nowhere is it actually made clear that this is why I wish to pursue this subject, which I find a little disconcerting. Ideally, there would be some emphasis as to which part of B&M (or to be more exact, a why) made you desire to read this subject at university. So, please make sure that you include those points and also pls answer, ′why am i suitable for this course′, Why do i find it interesting and How i am going to use it in the future. make sure that you put these points precisely and do not take out the important details from my draft and include those as well.

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